I came home from work one day not long ago to find a pile of almonds in the laundry basket. I am pretty sure that for most people, this is not an ordinary thing. You probably don't go looking for a pair of socks and come back with a heart healthy snack! Odd as this may seem to the average person, this type of thing is not an uncommon occurrence in my house. See, my dog has a rather sophisticated palette for snacks - and apparently thoroughly enjoys carrying said snacks to my bed to dine. She much prefers cashews to almonds, though which is the reason, I think, that she dumped these off the bed into the laundry basket. Must have been feeling a bit finicky that day. But this post is neither about my dog nor almonds...or even laundry.
It's about things that shouldn't happen....or do happen but in the wrong time and place....a sort of juxtaposed life. In the counseling world we call these "incongruences." But for a little poetic license I will refer to these situations as the "almonds in a laundry basket."
Almond #1: The exasperating memory lapse in what I wanted to write in this blog post. When I found the almonds in the actual laundry basket, I thought -what a great title for a blog post. Well, as they say, pride goeth before a fall. Because now most of my ideas have eluded me. I am not usually short on opinions or things to say....and now, when I have time (for unfortunate reasons) to put fingers to keys, all the thoughts that had been swimming around in my head have apparently drowned or headed for more appealing waters.
Almond #2: The Steelers losing the Super Bowl. This should not happen. In fact, it's unfathomable to a Pittsburgh native. If they make it to the game, they should win. I still have not wrapped my head around this one - never mind that they were outplayed by a long shot. I can admit that. But I can't face the fact that they didn't win. And I even made buffalo chicken dip! ...which despite the late hour sounds pretty good about now....
Almond #3: My being sick....again. I do not have the time or the patience to be sitting around doing nothing but playing on my computer. For heaven's sake - there are auditions coming up - lots of 'em...and I need to be preparing! Not to mention I have bills to pay....and paperwork to learn how to do. And Lord knows there is just a never ending pile of housework that, believe it or not, I actually WANTED to do this weekend.
Almond #4: The atrocities with which some children are living. For obvious confidential reasons, I cannot go into details. But the past few weeks have brought me more information than I would ever care to know......it's actually nothing short of a miracle that some of these kids even make it to school, much less make it through a day of school with as much success as they do. I wish I had the money to open a great big foster home and bring these little souls home with me. A child should not have to live without love, or concern about their hurts, or a bath or supper. A child should not be able to describe for me the scenes I have listened to recently that play out in front of their eyes. A child should not have to be comparing with other children, the number of incarcerations their parents have had. And the systems that are supposed to help and protect these kids should not be telling me "there is nothing we can do....."
Almond #5: Nudity in movies I happen to be watching with one or both of my sons. Just happened again this evening. And the movie was even terrible! I don't necessarily want to see a full frontal of a woman at ANY time - but certainly not when sitting next to one of my offspring! Geez. By the way, did you ever notice they don't do that with men in the movies? And we wonder why women feel objectified in our culture. Let's hear it for Hollywood. And Hooters for that matter - but don't get me started. I'm not proud to say I love their wings.
Almond #6: Burnout. As I finish this blog post, which was originally begun more than 3 weeks ago (by the way, I'm not sick any longer - knock on wood), I am at a conference that I have previously LOVED attending. This year, if I could have afforded to pay my district back, I would have skipped it. I didn't look forward to coming, I didn't fulfill all my obligations as a member of the Governing Board of this organization, I didn't want to see most of the people I would encounter. To give an idea how bad it was - I didn't even register for any of the drawings, grab any freebies (except the chocolate) or go to the main banquet this evening. Now, to be fair - I have run into some people that I do genuinely enjoy - and I have learned some new things - that I am excited to try to implement. The most helpful things I have learned this weekend are:
I am probably ADD - after all these years of referring to my disorganizational skills as my spiritual gift, it is quite possible that I actually have a diagnosis
Merlot and hot caramel sauce don't mix - whether you say "caramel" like the incorrectly pronounced McDonald's commercial or the right way (carmel) - it just doesn't work.
I learned how to make my way to a fabulous day spa in downtown Lancaster, PA and came upon a wonderful massage therapist :) and how that can be far more therapeutic than one more hotel lunch and meeting/presentation.
Almond #7 (wow I didn't know I had so many) - educators who have poor grammar. I have been called "Conan the Grammarian" by some - and I realize that I make mistakes from time to time (yes, even I....no, me....no, I) but I am constantly amazed (though I don't know why) at the horrendous butchering of the English language by those who are teaching it.
Before this post becomes too much of a rant about inconsequential issues, and because there is a seminar I want to attend early in the morning (or later today more accurately), and have been functioning on far too little sleep as it is, I will put an end to counting my almonds.
But I am the first to admit, I am and always will be, still a little bit nuts.
