Every so often (like every day) I think to myself that I need to get on here and blog. Mostly to act as a release valve for my brain that seems to be constantly awhirl with many unrelated thoughts, plans, dreams, worries,to do lists, and wonderings. So, it is Thanksgiving night - soon to be the day after Thanksgiving (I don't even want to call it Black Friday because I hate the whole concept and what it has become, though I know many who are out standing in lines even while I type), and I am the only one awake in the house. It has been a wonderful day with my kids (daughter in law included in that category) and my granddaughter, and grandmoose (the 90 pound golden retriever) and my daughter-in-law's parents. Like most people, I am ashamed at the mass quantities of incredible food I stuffed down my gullet today (doesn't THAT just sound spectacularly attractive?!?) but also had many laughs and some good conversation. And it seemed like a good time to write a blog post.
I see my posts as sort of an outpouring of the blah blah blah ticker running in my head. Not blah as in doldrums, but like the endless chatter that nobody really cares to hear. So I deposit it here so that even I don't have to listen to it anymore. And hey - if somebody reads it and even halfway enjoys it, that's pretty cool too.
I was getting a massage last week and the idea of time and its peculiar way of either being fleeting or insufferable. I don't look forward to that point in the massage when the Queen of my Relaxation places the warm towel down the center of my spine. Because I know that we are more than halfway done. Ok - maybe I am sometimes a glass-half-empty person. (But when it comes to massages, it's tough not to be) I was thinking about that hour getting a massage is lightning fast, but spend an hour doing something else.....like maybe sitting in traffic....or getting a root canal....and that same span of time becomes an eternity.
Or take children. Have you ever considered how it seems to take forever for that baby to arrive and yet all one need do is blink an eye and our babies are having babies of their own? Honestly, all I did was blink!
How about birthdays? When we are kids, the time spent waiting for our next birthday, or Christmas, or any other anticipated yearly event, is excruciatingly out of reach. But once we hit....I don't know....maybe 30, those birthdays are coming at LEAST every 2 weeks.....
So why babble on about time? Well, I had some pretty incredible experiences this past summer. Geez - it's been 4 months already since I helped to lead an event in Virginia that salvaged over 25,000 pounds of useable produce in 3 1/2 days. I learned some pretty amazing things....and found mysef being stretched in a number of ways. And I met some people with whom I felt an almost instant connection (which is VERY rare for introverted me) . And I wanted to blog about it.
But coming on the heels of that experience was my trip to Estonia. Where again, I had some fantastic things to chronicle. Ways I saw God work. Kids who captured my heart..Getting to see a young man and his mother who have been on my heart and mind since I met them in 2004. Frustrations that taxed every fiber of my being. I even kept notes during my time there so that I could blog about it.
But I returned home from that to a son who was having knee surgery. And several other significant life events took center stage. And I continued to work on building my practice. And looking for jobs. And putting life together. And appearing in a production with a new theatre group. Then came the arrival of my granddaughter. An event worthy of a blog if ever there was one. ( Sidebar: I've never been one to get all smushy and glassy eyed as grandparents around me gushed about their grandkids - no offense to any of you who might be reading, so blogging about the most beautiful child in the world would be more for my own expression of the nearly inexpressible.)
Our town recently practically monopolized the national news for more than a week. Many were blogging and posting and sharing. And for reasons I cannot explain, I felt a surreal detachment from the outpouring of emotion and grief that was pouring out of every corner (with the exception of course of my deep sadness and horror at what the victims were subjected to.) But I was baffled and saddened by the hostility that I saw and heard in the "discussions" when people didn't agree with the others' viewpoints. And the speculation and rumors flying. It sort of made me glad I had never pursued that career in journalism I had brieflly pondered way back when. After a while, it just made my brain hurt. Oh, I do have my opinions.....make no mistake about that....and I think I did sort of shock my dinner companions tonight when I shared one of them rather graphically. But I made a conscious effort NOT to blog about that topic.
Perhaps one of these days I will backtrack and properly reflect on the events that have taken place over the last 4-6 months....but the holidays ARE now upon us and I hope to find Christmas a little sooner this year than the wee hours of the morning on the 24th of December, like last year. The outlook is good for that possibility, as there are already lights on my house. Yes, folks, my place will actually look festive this year. And I am so excited about that that it makes tears come to my eyes. Or as the Grinch said, "I'm leaking!"
So as I too will soon succumb to tryptophan haze or overloaded carbs, I could ask, what am I trying to say here? What are my "take away points" as my friend Dean calls them? I have no clue. Just blogging what's been running amok in my head. And sometimes it's mind boggling. And now, it has officially been mindbloggled!
