Last night I participated in Night in a Car to benefit Bridge of Hope Centre County by bringing awareness of the family homelessness issue and raising funds for the organization that has meant so much to me for almost a decade. We have struggled for several years to find a fundraiser that is lucrative and reflects our mission.
I want to share my reflections here so I don't forget the impact of the experience but also to provide for anyone who has chosen to read this post, a description of what we experienced. And in this way, I won't intrude on anyone's social media scrolling because, admittedly I feared that doing another live video or even general post could be annoying. Because I know I get annoyed when I feel bombarded like that.
As a disclaimer I want to clarify that although I spent one night in my car, in a safe parking lot, with people who are also serving the organization, I am very aware that we only experienced a very small glimpse of what it might be like to be living in a vehicle without a home to settle into at night.
Going into the event, I was actually feeling a little bit excited - not just because we would be hopefully hitting our fund raising goal but because it would be a little like camping. We arrived and there was excitement in the air. We had been granted the lobby of a local church to set up our snack/beverage table and the use of the parking lot for sleeping. We had a food truck there, hoping to draw some community people out for food and who might become interested in our mission and want to become involved in our work in some way. The food was delicious, but we were the only ones purchasing from the truck. And still, the owner donated to us from the proceeds of our small group. He couldn't possibly have made a profit and still chose to donate. That was powerful.
We had a brief period of programming, including hearing from one of our recent graduates from the program, sharing how being a participant in the program impacted her. I had heard her story before, but she said something that would later come back to me. In her comments about how moved she was that we were doing this to help "people like me," she said, "There was a time that sleeping in a car would have been a luxury." Because even having a vehicle in which to spend the night was more than she had.
To organize my thoughts, I have been thinking about the ways in which this experience may have been like the real life experience of homeless families and the ways in which I recognize, it was likely not like their real life experience.
What may have been similar:
- We had no control over the weather. And it was cold!
- We had some cars with several family members in the same vehicle, so space was crammed
- We were invisible - there was a large conference going on at the church into the evening. Not a single person from that conference or its staff stopped by to get information about us or our event as they had dinner in the lobby or as they left for the evening. I would imagine that homeless families also feel invisible or ignored. That's about all I can think of that might reflect real life.
- We were only doing this for one night. And we chose to do it. Those who live out of their cars usually have no choice and live it for longer than one night.
- We had the opportunity to load up with blankets, layers of clothing, and fill our gas tanks so we could heat our cars if need be.
- We had a brightly lit lobby where we could get warm, have a snack and hot beverage, and use clean bathrooms.
- We were surrounded by other people we knew to be safe.
- We had the opportunity to socialize with each other because we had a place to do it. You could even say there was an element of fun - coming largely from our excitement over being able to do something to make a difference, but also because many of us are board members together, who, due to Covid, haven't met in person for a very long time.
- The families whose children participated were two parent families. Which allowed adults to take turns being in the cars and allow for socialization, warming up or even using the restrooms. Most homeless families (80%) are headed by a single mother, who may not feel safe to leave children sleeping in the car should she have the need to use a restroom.
- We had some breakfast foods waiting for us for the morning debriefing.
- We would be returning to homes once we dispersed. We would not have to find some other public place to spend our day.
- Most of us would have some opportunity to catch up on the missed sleep at some point today.
- Without a place to conduct a typical bedtime and wakeup routine, things may be displaced. Like my bite guard that I accidentally threw away because I had wrapped it in a napkin to be able to attend the breakfast meeting. I suspect I have missed some key differences but that's what came up for me for starters. What was MY personal experience? I'm so glad you asked! I had signed up for the 12-2 shift of "security duty" - basically just staying awake and keeping an eye on the cars and the lobby. So when I went out to my car, it took a very long while to get settled. I thought having an air mattress would have me all set up to be comfortable. I was wrong. I didn't get the chance to heat up my car because when I started it, my headlights wouldn't shut off and they were shining onto another car so I had to settle in with the car already somewhat chilly. It was raining (very cold rain) when I went out. I was well layered with heat trapping clothing but the number of layers presented a problem when various layers of elastic dug into my skin. And my nose was cold. Tossing and turning in a nice comfy bed to get to a good position for sleeping is tough enough - attempting it on an air mattress in a cold car is another thing. I turned on my usual sleep story lady and one of her first sentences was "just as your body needs a comfortable bed, so your mind needs a place to rest...." and I thought, "How ironic. My sleeping place isn't comfortable, and my brain is also racing with all the thoughts of how tired I was, how uncomfortable I was and what would this be like on an ongoing basis, with children, where they had to go to school the next day and I would need to be able to work and function at a job? And the thought shared by our participant that even this would have been a luxury......wow. Just wow. Without my cpap machine, I kept waking up - basically, the first hour and a half were just snippets that alternated between dozing and changing position until I think I just got so terribly tired that I actually went to sleep. Only to have to wake up 2 hours later. I can only imagine that having to live like this for any period of time would be a significant detriment to someone's mental health and physical health. I cannot imagine the fortitude required to get up every morning and choose to persevere. Although I am certain there will continue to be emotions that surface for me over time, I am grateful for what I have, while also feeling guilty for the things I take for granted. I am proud of the work of Bridge of Hope. I am amazed, humbled and so very very thankful for each and every donation that came in, and not just for my car ( and I am completely floored by those!) but for the whole event. We are very close to our goal, which will help us to bring one new family through the 2 year program. We will still be accepting donations through the end of March, so if you didn't get to donate, or know someone who would like to, you/they can visit https://centre.bridgeofhopeinc.org/ and find the Night in a Car fundraising event.
- If you made it this far, my sincere thanks.
- Until next year's event, my other posts will be about other things - like the monthly Christmas countdown! :D keep those rolled eyes emojis coming!
