Technology - ugh - I have such a love/hate relationship with it. I can't stand walking into restaurants and seeing couples and families, all with their faces in their separate devices. I hate seeing kids propped up with videos and video games as their babysitters (especially when the recommended amount of screen time for kids under the age of 2 is.....ZERO!! That's right - none. Zip. Nada. Including television) We are losing the art of conversation and more importantly, listening to each other. I am amazed at kids not knowing how to identify a board game or active game they like. They only know video games.
I have had to be careful about what I read online - especially late at night. The news stories are disturbing and anxiety inducing. Pay a visit to just about any site and you can find stories of human and animal atrocities, bizarre medical incidents, reports of doom and gloom and on and on. I found it was keeping me up at night. Horrible situations that I could do nothing about. Hurting for people I didn't know.
Then there's the maddening click bait articles. I get so angry with myself when I get sucked in. They read like a poorly written 5th grade book report, which just makes my blood boil all the more. And then I realize how much of my time I have wasted on garbage.
When we have date nights or days, we usually have an agreement to go tech-no....in other words, leaving our phones in the car or put away from whatever we are doing. We focus on what we are doing, on what is going on around us and on actually connecting. I wish we had more tech-no time. I wish more of my time everywhere could be tech-no time.
And I came to a rather unsettling realization recently. I have had many client (mainly students) talk about FOMO. (Fear of missing out). And I find myself rolling my eyes inside my head when they describe how much it affects them. Part of me is thinking, "Who cares?" Who cares if you don't go to that meeting or don't join this club, or don't go out to the bars one Friday night out of a hundred? And I had a rude awakening that I too am caught up in wanting to make sure I don't miss out - or more accurately - don't show up and thus create the illusion of not caring about whatever....or worse, fear of not being missed. I guess you could call mine FONBM. Doesn't quite roll of the tongue like FOMO though, does it? ;) I became convicted that I spend too much time on devices when I should be reading a professional book, a recreational book, or the Bible.....or should be investing myself in making a difference for someone. Or connecting with family and friends. Or.....gasp.....exercising the same self-care that I preach to my clients!
I remember my first trip to Estonia - it was going to be pointless for me to take my phone because I didn't have an international plan so it would be of no use to me. Before leaving, as I handed it off to my friend for safe-keeping, I felt like I was cutting my arm off. It didn't take long for me to not miss it. And I was even a little afraid to get it back when I returned.
And although I have managed to go tech-no for a day or even a brief period of time, I have envied those who delete their social media accounts. Envied and also wondered how they could possibly survive without them. I always seem to have a bunch of reasons why I couldn't do that. It's sort of like how people tell me they could never do the Whole 30 because they couldn't survive without this or that food. Yes, they can. What they're saying is, they won't. So as I have in the past said I couldn't go off of Facebook - which is incidentally the only social media I engage in (see? I do have some self-restraint), what I was really saying is I won't. I wont' be separated from that method of being in touch with my sisters, or knowing what is going on in the life of my nieces and nephews, or a theatre group....or my volunteer organizations, or....or.....or......because ......FOMO. or FONBM. So I was pondering all of this recently and I felt convicted to get off of Facebook for this upcoming season of Lent. If checking likes, or events. or commenting on people's posts so that they wouldn't forget me was such a strong focus that I couldn't do without it, then I NEEDED to do without it. Because that's not what my focus should be.
So, that's what I'm going to do. I will be deleting Facebook from my phone before I go to bed on this Shrove Fat Tuesday. And it is my hope that I will see the world from a fresh perspective. Or maybe a past perspective. And hopefully if I am not missed, it won't matter to me because I will have found more useful ways to spend my time, energy and focus. Cheerio!
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