Of Soirees and Synergy

This weekend was the 4th soiree for the gaggle of women I call the Sisters of Soiree'.  (SOS)  I'm pretty sure no one else in the group uses that handle for us but that's ok. 

Dictionary.com lists 3 definitions of the word soiree, all of them so similar that listing only one is necessary:

 an evening party or social gathering, esp. one held for a particular purpose: a musical soiree


Well, I think we would all agree that they are definitely held in the evening...on into the late, late LATE evening sometimes..and at a private residence as the one definition lists....but I am guessing that the "particular purpose" might not be as unified. 

Though we are all connected in some way to at least one other person in the gaggle, in at least one way.... some through theatre, some through work, some through kids' activities, it is not a group that is cemented by one exclusive connection.  Except maybe what Diane....er...Toots calls the silliness factor.  We definitely have FUN!  Perhaps that is why I stepped out of my comfort zone and sort of elbowed my way into this gang.  (I AM in the gang, right, Ladies?)  I needed some fun....and friends.

I sort of imposed myself on this group of extraordinary ladies because I was.....well, feeling rather lonely.  And frustrated in recent years at the absence of friends.  This is not a normal activity for me - imposing myself on people and trying to make friends....couple of reasons....first, the shyness mentioned in my previous post.  There's also a trust factor - through most of my high school and college life I was closest to guys because I found most females to be catty, sniping and petty.  A guy would tell you straight up what the deal was.  Like "yeah - I'm really not interested in you that way"....ok - not the best thing to hear from them but at least there was no pretending. So for me to invite myself into a group of women with whom I had very peripheral connections is quite out of character. 

 During my first marriage, that friendship with guys thing was pretty much taboo.  So I tried to surround myself with women friends.  I did ok...but I still didn't really enjoy women's events.  I often said I would rather have a root canal than to sit at a baby shower listening to everyone's labor stories.  And later on I got myself into a bit of a pickle in group counseling class in grad school when I said I had no interest in anything resembling a cackling hen's soup supper at church.  Apparently one of the other people in the group liked being a cackling hen. Or eating soup.  Or both.  After my divorce (which actually came before grad school but don't try to keep it straight - I know I can't),  all the women who had been my friends, and on whom I thought I could lean in times of trouble were suddenly stand-offish.  Heck - some of them just downright disappeared! As though they had gotten their hands on Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!  Some even went so far as to explain (and those who didn't definitely insinuated)  that they thought their husbands would come after me now that I was unattached. I can't even begin to explain what all emotions THAT elicited!

My attempts at maintaining friendships with women were so one sided and exasperating that I think I finally gave up. And I would get lonelier.  And try again.  And be disappointed.  The result of this ugly cycle became so blazingly apparent to me when I had wrecked my car and was taken to the ER.  They were ready to discharge me and brought me a phone to call someone to come get me and I started to cry.  The nurse panicked, thinking I was having pain.  The truth was, I didn't have anyone to call to come and get me.  Calling my ex-husband wasn't a choice in my book and the devastation I felt at the realization that there was nobody who gave enough of a damn about me that I could count on them in a moment of need, shattered my soul.
   
So when Peggy Jean (not her real name) asked me to help with an audition workshop,(though we were only connected via commenting on a mutual friend's Facebook status and had the same opinion of his addiction to Shamrock shakes)  then suggested we grab some lunch after we both auditioned on the same day a week or so later, I decided to pursue unsticking this flower from the wall and see what might happen.

And we've been raucously soireeing since June....and we have taken on the practice of assigning themes to our evenings of delight and debauchery and diet-dissing.  With recipes and costumes to match!  From Mexican to Cowgirl to White Trash, it just keeps getting better!  In fact, I think soireeing has changed other parts of my life - I almost don't hate going to work these days!  Almost. 

At the last soiree, there was a shirt painting activity (which I missed because of my show altho I'm not sure I would actually WEAR a shirt with my white trash name on it)...but I'm thinking that we are soon gonna need jackets.