Dear Sally,
We need to talk. I feel compelled to tell you that it is waaaaay too early in the semester for you to be getting to this level of frustration!
Yes, there are students walking in front of your car at every intersection without looking, and doing so without any sense of urgency, thus causing you to have to miss many opportunities to get on your way. And yes, they do it without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgement of your presence, mostly due to ear buds and walking and texting. Some of them do see you and lollygag anyway because after all, THEY ARE.....and they own the place.
I really "get it" that your supervisor dropped the ball again this year and is allowing someone else to continue to do your work just a few weeks after he confirmed that the former person REALLY WAS retired - for good this time.
May I take this moment to remind you how much you desperately wanted a few of these folks in your life just a few weeks ago when town was still pleasantly less populated and schools hadn't started back yet? You know.....when the income stream looked a raindrop in the Sahara?
Blasting horrid music and impossibly long lines at the Dunkin' Donuts making you crazy? Hey - aren't you supposed to be going gluten- and sugar-free? Busted!!!
Perhaps the crazy traffic is partly to blame for your elevated pulse and blood pressure.....hey - let 'em have their half of your lane as well as their own! They certainly don't mind, so why should you?
Or the people in the grocery store who scarf up both of the salmon samples the nice man in the chef hat was offering to both you and them.....what can I say, you're only pretending to like salmon anyway.
It seems you need to once again be cognizant of what time you enter a Panera if you don't want to be waiting in line outside..... would it help to remember that the food isn't all that healthy anyway and rather pricey when you think about it? Better to head to Callao Café and Market ( https://www.facebook.com/CallaoCafe) where "everybody knows your name"....or at least the ringmaster does.
So you didn't love the Nittany Lion music blaring in Wegmans today? Well, all I can say is WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, anyway, going to Wegmans at 3:40 on a football Friday? Obviously, you were not. Thinking, that is.
You need to get a grip, Girl. The carefree, go-anywhere-without-a-hassle-days of summer are over. Time to hibernate til Christmas.
So I suggest a few stress-busting tips:
Move your office out of downtown.
Meditate - cue up Dr. Junger for his 5 Minutes to De-Tox Your Mind and bask in his Antonio Banderas-esque tones and be daring - go ahead and "feel your knees.....intensely....from the inside!"
Take a walk. (You DO have the Color Run/Walk coming up and you don't anyone having to carry you - that would just be embarrassing!)
Take a nap.
Take a bubble bath.
Take a nap in a bubble bath.
Have a campfire.
Fix yourself a nice Ribena Seltzer.
Go glean something.
Breathe, for goodness' sake! Those pressure headaches at your temples and stress induced ulcers in your mouth are just the first signs that not only are you headed for being pretty darn unattractive (not to mention cranky), but that you are also on course to spontaneously combust before Thanksgiving! And that would ruin all the fun!
I realize that in your (our) business, disassociation is not usually a good thing - but you may want to give it a bit of a shot!
Sincerely,
Your calmer and more rational self
(who is apparently vacationing somewhere in the French or Mexican Riviera)
Dear C. R. S.,
Please come home soon. I miss you already.
Love,
Sally
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